This post was written by our Director of Behavioural Learning and Head of our Perform division, Roger Ayres.

For many years, people have come to me for advice after being told during performance discussions to ‘be themselves more’ and at the same time ‘flex their style’ to work more effectively with others. Surely there is a natural tension between these two positions so how can you make sense of it?

What I recommend is first to look at ourselves more broadly and acknowledge that almost all of our behaviour is already authentic but at the same time it differs depending on the situation. I have yet to meet a person who behaves the same way all the time – at home, with colleagues, with their boss or on a night out with friends. So, having a fixed idea of our authentic self needs examining, re-evaluating and widening.

Second, being flexible does not mean we lose ourselves. When we drill down to our specific behaviours – repeatable actions in what we say and what we do – this allows for flexibility within our ‘authentic bandwidth’. After all, my version of assertiveness will look, sound and feel different from yours.

Me Learning’s Perform training helps provide insight so that you can understand your authentic self. It helps you to develop your confidence and competence to broaden your behavioural repertoire. That way you can flex your style to meet the needs of a range of different situations in a business environment.

For further enquiries, contact Me Learning at or 01273 091 301.

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